So today I was reading Esther 4:14
"For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" (ESV)
This is the most famous verse of the whole book and I love and have memorized because of it's deep meaning. But today I stepped back and spent some time dwelling on how it applies to me. It seems that our destinies and purpose are always bound up with the hardest things in our lives. Often when you feel God calling you to your destiny, you are stuck in the meat grinder of life. God does not call us to comfort and security but to an on the edge life of faith and selflessness. To quote Beth "As much as I wanted relief, I knew that when all was said and done, I'd sit on that side of glory having much rather fulfilled my calling than served myself all the way to meaninglessness. I had to accept that I was not called to an easy life. I was called to a purposeful life." WOW- amen to that.
Jonathan & I know that we have been called to life of purpose and doing what God desires but I have to admit that sometimes when you are in the vice grip and you are screaming for relief, that self absorbed life of comfort beckons you. It seduces you with promises of ease, rest and enjoyment. While you are in the meat grinder, that sounds wonderful. But to quote Beth again "What if this is a critical moment? What if this very thing, this very decision, is the most important piece of the puzzle comprising my purpose?"
At those times of critical decision, I must call out to God for perseverance and the power to make the best choice- his choice! Other lives may depend on my small decisions of faithfulness. Although I may never understand the scope of the choices that I make, God has a plan and a purpose that goes far beyond me. At the worst, what can happen? Like Esther I must conclude- "and if I perish, I perish." I am honored that God has chosen me as his own and asked me to participate with him in the work.
Father, help me to remain faithful, not lose sight of the big picture and not become self possessed to the point of missing out on your work! Give me a glimpse of your glory and help me to act on faith when there isn't any!